I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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