her vagine was all disorganized.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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