i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
