you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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