I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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