Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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