so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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