she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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