I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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