i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
