what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So vagazzling was a success
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
