is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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