No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
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So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
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I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time