Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own