Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..