she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.