you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger