Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long