Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
