Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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