I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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