I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.