i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon