Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
