I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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