Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
