Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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