Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
