Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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