Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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