Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
