he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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