...so i touched it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
