If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
