my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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