Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize