told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
