I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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