when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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