Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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