Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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