from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
