i just google imaged poop.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
