handjob tips. give me some.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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