oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
