I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
