there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
