and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
