I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
