Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
