i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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