you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This baby is an asshole
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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