HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
