its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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