i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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