Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
