I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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