bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
