I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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