Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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