Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
