When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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