I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My vagina just clenched in fear
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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