Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
